


A Heavy Burden Joyfully Borne

by CmdrCody2224 (TimeLadyMirror)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:11:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6608479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeLadyMirror/pseuds/CmdrCody2224
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>PTSD post Order 66</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Heavy Burden Joyfully Borne

**Author's Note:**

> Started out as a prompt on Tumblr, but the idea took hold

It was a few days after the commander showed up at Obi-Wan’s humble hermitage on Tatooine half-starved and full of remorse. Shortly after their initial conversation, Cody had basically passed out on Obi-Wan’s kitchen table. He slept deeply yet fitfully, his mind held hostage by the demands of his body. Obi-Wan did his best for him, stripping his battered armor off of him, peeling the standard issue black body suit away (gasping when he saw the near skeletal wreck that was Cody’s once healthy and gorgeous body), scooping the unconscious man up in his arms, and gently washing him with cool water. A lump the size of one of Tatooine’s moons had formed in Obi-Wan’s throat as he kept quiet vigil over Cody’s inert form. By the stars, he’d been so light, almost like he hadn’t slept or had a good meal since the last one they shared together before the battle on Utapau. It struck the Jedi as fundamentally wrong that someone as powerful and solid as Cody always was should be reduced to the sickly wreck that lay shivering under his thin blankets. 

Obi-Wan tried to go about his days much as he ad before Cody’s arrival, but it was more difficult than he imagined. Every morning he gently extracted himself from the almost bone crushing grip Cody had on him. There was only the one bed in the abode, and Obi-Wan didn’t see the point in being more uncomfortable than he had to be, so he would slide under the covers as far away from Cody as possible and meditate until he fell asleep. His dreams were more like lucid nightmares these days, and despite his best efforts, he always found himself mindlessly seeking Cody in the night, and by morning the two of them would be locked in an embrace closer than that of lovers. Cody seemed to shake less in Obi-Wan’s arms, but Obi-Wan refused to think about what that might mean, and so he would slip away from Cody as quietly as he could and coax some tea down Cody’s throat. That done, he spent the rest of the day practicing his saber forms or working on the few machines needed to keep his home operating. But years of relying on Anakin’s mechanical genius had dulled his own skills, and a loud sound very reminiscent of blaster fire (and the even more barbaric projectile fire some sentients still favored) sounded through the small home after he unsuccessfully rewired the motor of his water pump.

This sound roused a response from the comatose clone that must have been programmed into his blood and bones. For the first time in days, Cody’s eyes snapped open. He leapt from the bed, startling an already startled Obi-Wan, and settled into a defensive crouch. His eyes darted here and there wildly, taking in his sparse surroundings, locating each and every thing that might be used to hurt him and, seeing nothing, began to relax. Until he saw Obi-Wan. From the second those dark and confused eyes landed on him, Obi-Wan knew he was in trouble. Cody’s force signature was a turbulent cloud of guilt, regret, pain, confusion, anger, and hopelessness. Even just barely brushing against it took Obi-Wan’s breath away, the intensity of his commander’s emotions more than enough to knock him off his center. There was a tense moment where the two simply stared at each other. Then:

“Good soldiers follow orders,” the words were a guttural growl, like the sound a wild predator might make in its dying moments. Obi-Wan had a brief second to marvel at the depth of misery contained in that single statement before Cody was on him, wasted but still impossibly string hands clamping down around his throat and cutting off his airway.

Obi-Wan struggled to free himself from Cody, but he found himself unable to harm the sickly clone even unintentionally. Cody was not himself, that much Obi-Wan could see. His eyes were wide, the pupils blown until the gorgeous brown of Cody’s irises were just thin circles around them. There was no recognition in those eyes, nor in the tears that were streaming out of them and into the scruffy beginnings of a beard along Cody’s jaw. The grip on his throat was loosening, and Obi-Wan gripped the thin wrists in his hands and gently pried Cody’s hands off his throat. He’d have a nasty bruise, but otherwise he’d be ok. 

Cody was still straddling him. He seemed frozen. His hands were still held loosely in Obi-Wan’s, and he was staring out past Obi-Wan into nothingness, muttering that same phrase under his breath and silently crying. 

“Commander? Cody? Can you hear me?” Obi-Wan asked, wiggling out from under Cody as he did so. He got no answer. A feeling very much like dread and hopelessness pooled in the pit of Obi-Wan’s stomach as he watched Cody. Was he doomed to watch everyone he ever loved be destroyed in some manner right in front of his eyes? Siri, Qui-Gon, Satine, Anakin, and Padme. He mourned for each of them. Would Cody now join that litany of sorrow? He rubbed his eyes and pulled an unresisting Cody down, settling the man’s head in his lap and stroking his fingers through his soft black hair. 

He would not fail Cody. Not this time.


End file.
